We won't sleep together?
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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