Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
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