Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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