Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
