we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
