he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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