I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
