At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
