Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize
