Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Randomize
