Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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