The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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