I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
