She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize