I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come