Texts From Last Night

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  (904): View more from Florida

  So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5

  (312): View more from Illinois

  Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy

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  (904): So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5 (312): Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy http://tfl.nu/43t9
  Replies (2) Good night (955) Bad night (469)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.

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  (248): i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid. http://tfl.nu/3rci
  Replies (3) Good night (650) Bad night (475)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..

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  (206): My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury.. http://tfl.nu/rawt
  Replies (39) Good night (7997) Bad night (1117)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina

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  (917): I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina http://tfl.nu/sexo
  Replies (71) Good night (6657) Bad night (827)
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?

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  (901): hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn? http://tfl.nu/pzvd
  Replies (13) Good night (2974) Bad night (1228)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work

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  (208): I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work http://tfl.nu/ffxc
  Replies (20) Good night (1768) Bad night (3137)
• Favorite

  (905): View more from Ontario

  Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.

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  (905): Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are. http://tfl.nu/m18s
  Replies (2) Good night (3044) Bad night (774)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens

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  (407): I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens http://tfl.nu/da7z
  Replies (5) Good night (3656) Bad night (824)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.

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  (214): It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils. http://tfl.nu/mamt
  Replies (5) Good night (1570) Bad night (700)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.

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  (402): I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious. http://tfl.nu/b9xl
  Replies (12) Good night (3704) Bad night (1165)
• Favorite

  (224): View more from Illinois

  I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".

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  (224): I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!". http://tfl.nu/pw3u
  Replies (8) Good night (3188) Bad night (693)
• Favorite

  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"

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  (580): Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying" http://tfl.nu/0sq3
  Replies (4) Good night (3811) Bad night (617)
• Favorite

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?

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  (780): So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends? http://tfl.nu/kqn5
  Replies (5) Good night (2953) Bad night (604)
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  (841): View more from

  That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.

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  (841): That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead. http://tfl.nu/kk8p
  Replies (7) Good night (1339) Bad night (690)
• Favorite

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"

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  (604): When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof" http://tfl.nu/pdgz
  Replies (1) Good night (358) Bad night (207)

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