you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
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This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related