the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
