Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
