I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
