She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
