Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize