Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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