PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
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