I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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