Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
