So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
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