He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
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Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
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I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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