Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
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But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
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Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
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