It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Why can't burritos get me drunk
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
i need some magic done to my vagina
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize
