Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
So much rum. So many feels.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
