If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
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