we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
