my mouth tastes like poor choices
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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