Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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