can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
