just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
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Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
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There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that