Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(817): View more from Texas

just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.

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(323): View more from California

Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?

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(+61): View more from Australia

Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.

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(847): View more from Illinois

First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(703): View more from Virginia

Casually had to file a missing persons report last night

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(678): View more from Georgia

I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!

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(815): View more from Illinois

All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.

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(614): View more from Ohio

No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that

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