And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
25 Adults Reveal The Most Embarrassing Stories From When They Were Kids
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!