I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
20+ Kids Who Probably Didn’t Mean To Draw Hardcore Porn
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot