just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?