I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
