Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
How external is "for external use only"?
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
