i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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