I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
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