All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
