I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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