I've blown a few things in my day
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
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yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
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Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
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