So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
i think i just lost a toe
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Randomize
