I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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