It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
