thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
she smelled like a LAN party
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
If I had your ass I would rule the world
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