Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
