no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
