Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
27 Times The Kardashian-Jenner Clan Absolutely Slayed at NYFW
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?