smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
