Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
