So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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