Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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