smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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