I just made out with a guy for $7.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
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