i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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