ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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