This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
4 words: hood of his car
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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